Sunday, July 20, 2014

chasing youth

things have been busy, as they usually are during my home visits.

it's not a complete summer without a trip to the hollywood forever cemetery, so my friend and i packed up our picnic gear and headed down into the heart or hollywood to watch david lynch's blue velvet last night. oh what a strange world.




we enjoyed ourselves, we love weird movies.

last monday i set off with one of my longest-time best friends (since we were 8), and drove all the way into the desert to hang around salvation mountain. it was so hot that we were only there for probably an hour, but we made a whole trip of it. my little memory of our trip:

chasing adventure, chasing the moon, chasing our youth.
we’re in the middle of nowhere, in all seriousness. we drove for over an hour without seeing anybody really, when our little motel popped up on the side of the road.
the sun set against a dusty rose streaked sky far behind us, I could see it in the rearview mirror as we drove alongside a lake I’d never heard of before, or didn’t expect to see way out here in the desert. 
we’ve pulled over every so often to explore deserted modern-day ruins: crumbling structures, abandoned beaches, and empty freight trains.
we wandered into the one store in town that we could find open at 9’ o’clock at night in daisy dukes and boots. it’s obvious that we don’t belong here, but that’s okay, we’re not apologizing. we drank beer and danced around the hotel room in skimpy pajamas while the tv hummed and flashed with reality tv as a background filler.
where are you?’ everyone kept asking.
somewherei said, somewhere far away.

i have a whole post to do, with all of those photos soon, but here's one or two for now:





thursday came around and it was carly's nineteenth birthday, so we threw a little soiree to celebrate.
awesome grainy iphone photos because it got dark so quick





safe to say she enjoyed it very much. we had cake and sparklers, and some beautiful long chats around the fire about paris, (my conversation), and tinder (others) haha!

i am busy it seems everyday, some days are more quiet than others, but i'm just trying to be here and quietly take everything in before it's all gone again and i am lifted up into the sky. oh i miss these friends already.

my morning today was slow, but i pried myself from my fluffy white bed to shower, but oh how i wish i hadn't turned on my computer.
with this morning came the news that a childhood friend of mine lost a brother to the war in israel. he was killed as an idf on the gaza strip. i knew him well as a child, and my heart breaks for my sweet friend and her family.
there always seems to be some form of hate or evil going on in the world. i know i alone can't change that, but i encourage you everyday to re-evaluate what you think is truly important to you and to this world and to do more of whatever that is. i hope it is love, i hope it is laughter and light. because if we change within, and act out with kindness, maybe we really can change the world.

rest in peace my dear max, life was taken from you much too young.

billie

Friday, July 4, 2014

hummingbird heartbeat

it's 3 am but i'm home and i'm happy.

spending time being silly with friends i love and it's all just bliss, ya know?
today i went shopping, dipped my feet in carly's pool.
then irma came over, put lip liner all over me so i could have bigger lips!




  we took too many pictures, went to dinner, came back and danced around on Photo Booth for old times sake, and then decided to leave for dessert at 11.45pm.

she had two bites of cheesecake and then was full.
i am so grateful to have so many beautiful, hilarious, and talented friends in my life. they're so loving and make me so happy.

outfit!
happy happy happy to be home. feeling crazy, feeling the love. 

Monday, May 5, 2014

breathing

blogs are beautiful places to share your life with others around the world.
i love reaching out and finding others through words.

i've had a bit of a rough time since february.
university life was new.
it was tiring, and not extremely difficult- but different and slightly unsettling.
it took me some time to find my balance.

i think i am finally rooted.
to this place and this space.
i wouldn't give up my oceans views for anything.
i am finding my way here.

i am finally beginning to take pen to paper again, to read, to discover, to laugh, and to immerse myself in nature once again.
we're getting into winter here in australia, but may will always be my warm springtime month, full of yellows and florals and happiness.

i turn twenty in one week.
i'll be an aunty in two.

welcome to adulthood.
welcome to your life.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

until further notice // see you soon then

i've started a new lifestyle + fashion blog with my friend carly over here.



i haven't yet decided if i'll keep posting here on simple mornings.
i might, sporadically post my ramblings, and keep it as some sort of personal diary i think.
i have a hard time parting with things that have my words written all over them, i want to remember everything you see.

this past week and a half has been full to the brim with laughter and good conversation. i've tried to spend every moment with a friend or family, and now i am counting down 6 hours or so until i leave for the airport. to fly home. my other home.

growing up, i always called australia home. i don't know if it was mores because i felt connected to it as my birthplace, or if it just felt cool to be from there. as i grow in age, i realize how massive a part of that concept of home la truly is to me. i believe in my life i will bounce around a lot, here and there and everywhere because i have a desire to see touch and hear anything and everything the world has to offer me, but los angeles will always be my hometown.

pieces of my heart are scattered all over the world really though, carried in the hands of the people i love. and i stick by that, i belong to no one, no one belongs to me. but i form strong attachments to things, so i will always be largely connected to los angeles. i leave a huge chunk of my heart in the people that live here, for they are my most favorite beings.

i have been melancholy these last few days, at leaving the warming rays of sunshine as they turn into spring. the air feels new here, and i've grown so much closer to even my closest friends. it's tough to say 'see you soon'. i choose to do it again and again. i have hopes and dreams and goals, and they mainly focus on my experiences in life. maybe it's selfish but i am just forever trying to grow to be that better person, and this is the way my heart wanders, i choose to follow it.

i'll say it, i'll say it, i love you la. i do.






sydney your shimmering blue oceans are calling to me as you lap at the last days of a sticky hot summer, and the moment i step in the door of the house by the beach that i live in for now, i know i'll be greeted with four smiling faces and chubby fingers. and gosh, i've missed you so littles.

it's hard for me to explain to people how much i adore children. i've always known i was going to be a mother, there are videos to prove it starting with me at the age of two, and my written answer in fifth grade when asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?". there have always been other dreams, but this one stands solid, unwavering, since i could speak. is that insane?
     there is something so incredible to me, about taking responsibility for creating, growing, raising another human being. you mold their minds in each moment. you get to show them the world, and in return they teach you thing you've never known, they morph into this figure of beauty who sees the world with brand new hopeful eyes. they make you wonder, hope. i wish i could capture curiosity in a jar and show it to you, it's something magical. and they'll love you unconditionally. and you'll love them equally. you can't help it.

gosh that's some tangent. i've been six weeks without my 50-some littles, and i miss them terribly. i need some imagination and giggles breathed back into me. they're the best kind of people to hang out with. it's so easy to make them happy.

anyways, i hope if you want to keep up with more of my australian adventures in school, in life, and my clothing options you'll visit my new collaboration blog. simultaneously you'll get an la experience through carly's eyes. she's driven, and small, and constantly in downtown and malibu and the valley and west hollywood all at once. and she's got insanely beautiful hair, haha!
http://www.sydneytolosangeles.blogspot.com/




whoever you are, thanks for listening.
see you soon.
x
billie

Thursday, January 30, 2014

films, and friends, and starfish.

things are winding down here, but my days are suddenly extremely full.

i leave in one week to cross that ocean once more, and all the kids here are back in school.
my life seems full of so many bittersweet moments. i hate to hug those i love goodbye, sometimes it's worse to be the one doing the leaving.

we wrapped shooting on our short film last monday evening around 11pm. the editing process was crazy and things have been changed again and again. mistakes made, lessons learned.
cue goofy shots from lacma




i drove out to culver city and met with a producer last week. she was extremely kind, as was her pa. i had to navigate the lot to park my car, and i just love those places. we sat in a coffee shop on the lot and chatted about things, and then seth rogan walked by. i get so giddy being around all of that. it's my place. you know when everything just feels perfect? happy, happy.

on sunday carly, nicole & i ran some errands which had us bump into the sweetest farmer's market. the fruit was so good, and i couldn't leave without buying flowers. i can't go anywhere without buying flowers.


we're going back next week because we don't give two craps about the super bowl. and carly and i have some ideas up our sleeves! but, anyways, after this secret unplanned farmer's market deal we went for a stroll around the grove and got some lunch. 
carly has zero shame about very obviously taking pictures in public. this is me laughing about being embarrassed about not posing for said picture. 
after, we raced home and i promised to help out with an event at the store where carly works. don benjamin from america's next top model was selling his lookbooks and meeting his fans. my job was to make sure people weren't stealing anything, hah!
that quickly turned into making faces at carly and her co-worker and embarrassing dancing when the dj started playing beyonce. did you see her gramy performance?!!!!!!?

i spent monday morning at the beach with vic. we talked for a few solid hours. it was so warm, and i ran around like a little girl, jumping up on rocks and skipping in and out of the tide. we touched sea urchins and admirde some starfish. we have lots of starfish in the tide pools back in australia, so i picked one up that i'm pretty sure was dead.



there's a video of me singing "i am a mermaid" that will stay in the deepest darkest confines of my iPhoto.
that night i went on a long drive and caught up with another close friend.
this week was full of long, wonderful conversations. 

wednesday i was down in west hollywood for the morning with anisa. we had brunch at one of my new favorite little french restaurants. so yummy, so lovely.

and today i went to my high school to have a chat with my former english teacher whom i still very much adore. she is sweet, and kind, and brilliant, and so wonderfully sarcastic. we are completely on the same level in that sense. it's funny to become less of a student, and more of a friend. she is a fantastic human being, one of my favorite. be kind to your teachers! they're some of the best people you'll ever, ever know.

and then i ran into another teacher. lots of talking. lots of good, happy things.

this year is looking lovely. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

home snaps.

some snaps from home!


 i went downtown for dinner a few nights ago at a restaurant called coco laurent, and then we crossed the street to grab some dessert from bodega louie. it's crazy nuts insanely busy in there (all the time) but we wandered back and forth for awhile wondering what to buy.
     i must say, i'm not big on sweets, but i couldn't go home empty-handed so i bought a little dulce de leche tart for my mama. she loved it. and i was happy to keep the box!


i religiously take photos on every plane ride during the middle of the night. i am hopelessly in love with the stars, and the photos are always blurry but i have yet to give up. here's a snap from when i landed at lax, and one from the sun as it set just somewhere over the very vast ocean.


look at those tufty clouds!
 and since i'm relaxing at home everyday, i feel really weird being away from all those tiny humans under 2ft. i spent some time looking at photos the other day and found one savva took of me in early december while we were playing outside. the world is so interesting through their eyes.


Saturday, January 4, 2014

jingle bells

this is ever so delayed.

i had a wonderful christmas at home with my mum, dad, and younger brothers. we all went nuts pooling each other this year and ended up with quite massive amounts of gifts. it was overwhelming, but we were all very happy! haha
^terribly dim indoor lighting.^



a present- from my parents haha



my best friend does christmas eve as a bigger event, so she joined us for christmas dinner. i was thrilled to spend the evening with her.

xo
billie